Monday, May 13, 2013

10 [more] things I ask myself while driving home after midnight

At some late hour of the night five months ago after driving home from New York I wrote a post titled "10 things I ask myself while driving home after midnight." Having just driven home from New York late––though not quite after midnight––I figured it was time for some additions to the list:


  1. If in a 55mph speed zone adjacent to a 30mph speed zone someone's relatively large dog enters the highway and runs into me at 15mph while I'm driving 59mph, which one of us can be said to have hit the other?
  2. In the entirely hypothetical situation that that actually happened, metaphorically speaking, should I feel bad about the fact that someone's relatively large dog could now be used as stationary?
  3. If I did [do] not really feel that bad about this, should I feel bad about the fact that I didn't [don't]?
  4. Is feeling bad about the fact that you don't feel bad about something in any way equivalent to feeling bad about it? Because I think I could at least manage that.
  5. Should I feel equally as bad about not feeling bad about the opossum that I just smeared as I was thinking about whether I should feel bad about not feeling bad about obliterating someone's dog?––if that had actually happened in real life, I mean....
  6. Is an anthropocentric or biocentric value system correct, and what bearing does that have on the previous questions, or incidentally on the unidentified large rodent that I just splattered as I was wondering how I should feel about killing the opossum? 
  7. Why do the New York State Police on rare occasions stakeout just off 328 before it intersects the border between New York [Trepidation!] and Pennsylvania [Freedom!]? 
  8. Why––as of seven days ago––is there a rather soggy looking La-Z-Boy recliner perfectly blocking the place where the NYSP have been known to park their cars in aforementioned stakeout? 
  9. Who was the inspired genius who put the La-Z-Boy there and why has he not been nominated for an award––say a cigar, or a handshake, or an advisory fellowship at some large libertarian think-tank, or something roughly equivalent?
  10. If you do a great deed in the service of humanity without intending to, is it still a great deed? 

3 comments:

Lauren Twombly said...

This is fantastic. You should do more like this.

Rebecca said...

Just. Yes. And thank you.

Rebecca said...

Just. Yes. And thank you.