Monday, November 19, 2012

10 things I ask myself while driving home after midnight

For a somewhat complicated and not entirely logical series of reasons, I have ended up living in rural Pennsylvania, while almost my entire social, political and religious life is in Upstate New York. This rather precarious and inefficient arrangement involves lots of commuting. Thus, it is not an uncommon thing for me to find myself two or three nights/wee-hours-of-morning a week driving  the treacherous, twisting route back from Corning or Horseheads, NY to my house in northern PA.

This evening was one of those nights, and aside from listening to music as usual, I also found my mind mulling over a series of deep questions that has slowly evolved over countless nights of driving. I thought it might be interesting to list them here. Perhaps someone out there has answers.

  1. Why must deer look so much like mailboxes?
  2. If privatization would be good for our country, then why is public radio so infinitely better than pop radio? And for that matter:
  3. considering the fact that I hate pop[ular] anything, why the heck do I believe in democracy?
  4. Why must mailboxes look so much like deer?
  5. If LCD Soundsystem spent years planning to break up just so they could feel nostalgic about it, should I really feel nostalgic listening to them?
  6. Considering that coffee and beer were both really acquired tastes for me, why couldn't I have acquired a taste for Folgers and Bud Light instead of Starbucks/artsy[expensive]-local-coffee-house-of-your-choice and Belgian White Beer/concoction-of-artsy[expensive]-local-brewery-of-your-choice? I would be so much richer. 
  7. If the amount of time I spend driving on these back roads late at night raises my probability of hitting a deer, shouldn't I drive faster?
  8. Why are Metric and Passion Pit not on pop radio? I mean really, I understand why most people don't like most of the music I listen to, but I don't understand how more people can't like those. Maybe a government program is the answer. We could call it: "The Department of Good Music," and the Secretary of Good Music would be a cabinet level position––at least whenever a Democrat is in the White House.  
  9.  Why don't I have any friends where I live?
  10. Why don't I live where I have friends?

5 comments:

Lindsay said...

#8- I'd totally support that, especially if Passion Pit and Metric were on the playlist.

I... don't think mailboxes look like deer, nor vice versa, and I always drive really slowly when going through heavy deer stretches. (I've got a few of those stretches out where I live, too.)

Lauren Twombly said...

Totally feeling you on #9 and #10. As much as I tried to be the down-to-earth-I'm-the-only-one-who-is-actually-aware-that-Bryan-life-isn't-forever, it's been (and probably always will be) hard being from Jersey. No fun.

Andrew said...

Yeah Twombs... it's a weird transition.

So you survived the hurricane?

Andrew said...

Lindsay - I think it has something to do with the reflectors people put on them. They look just the same as a deer's eye to me, so when I can only see that the silhouette of the rest of it, something in my nervous system tells me it's a deer and I slam on the brakes.

Halifirien Pilgrim said...

During high school I'd drive home from orchestra and each week asking myself #4. There is one particular guard rail that still gets me. #9 and #10 are also recurring thoughts.