Well, it's been a while since I last posted. More than a week I guess. Mainly because I just haven't had a ton going on at all. I made a point some time ago of not posting unless I did have something going on; some interesting event or destination to talk about. I also decided that I should try and have photos or video of the said event or destination whenever I posted as well. I guess I was trying to make things more interesting and possibly increase traffic to my blog (although I have no pragmatic reason for doing this). The other, somewhat subconscious reason for this was to avoid talking about myself too much... something that often becomes overly introspective and probably burdensome, rather than fun for anyone who was reading it. Looking back on my posts however, I've started to realize that while the event based blog is more eye-catching, it probably doesn't have as much long term value and insight for myself looking back on it in the future as many of my older posts that had less of a predetermined point and more pure thought.
I'm afraid also that I've begun to increasingly adopt the western academic habit of insisting on knowing exactly what I want to say before I say it - having a thesis, as it were. Or, in the case that I start to say something that I had not planned to say when I began, to revise it so that it appears that I planned to say exactly what I said, even if I did not.
Over the last couple years I've come to see that the primary value of this blog, rather than entertaining other people, as I sometimes wish it would do, has been giving me, myself a bit of a journal to look back on. So, you ask, if the primary purpose of keeping this blog is for me to read it, why not just keep a journal? The answer is that I have before kept a journal, and it was always a disaster. If I have sometimes become overly introspective while blogging, it's nothing compared to the morbid, borderline emo fare that I end up producing when writing strictly for myself. When, on the other hand, I write for an audience, my general disgustingness is somewhat tempered by what I want you to think of me, the blogger, and I end up portraying my life more how I would want it to be seen by others. This is beneficial for at least two reasons.
First, I've noticed that writing often has a reflexive effect on me, particularly in the area of emotion. Rather than just writing down how I feel, I often began to feel how I wrote down that I felt. Thus, portraying a slightly overoptimistic picture of my mood, can actually change my mood for the better (and vice versa when writing negatively for myself as the audience). The second benefit is that since as I said, the primary thing I gain from blogging is the ability to look back on it from a point in the future, the person I am in the future gets to see me now as I would now want to be seen. Here the benefit depends on whether you think of yourself in the future as the same person you are now, or as a different person. I tend toward the perhaps unorthodox perspective that you are a different person... this is based only on experience though, and I'm not sure I could defend it philosophically or theologically or anything like that.
So, is my style of blogging going to change? What am I trying to say by all this? I really don't know. And that may be a step in the right direction.